Let's not get too excited.

My dreams have changed.... again.

At first glance everything i want seems more realistic. And certainly much more attainable. I'm using poker to ease my worries of supporting myself. I have it in my head that this is it for me. Freedom to live like i never thought i could. But then i look, and im sitting with a little over 1000BB at 1-2. What the hell am i thinking.

I've been playing 1-2 head up holdem for exactly 17 hours and 21 minutes. That is total playing time kiddies. At about 18BB an hour things are looking great, right? Wrong. I'm constantly doubting myself. I keep telling myself, that if i get to this amount or that amount of money, ill stop worrying about whether or not i can do this. This obviously has not worked yet.

At my very very conservative calculations, i should be sitting very healthy by the month of september. And even more healthy by next year. This is when i plan to move, with 2 years rent, too... VEGAS? What the hell is wrong with me? I have yet to step foot into a CASINO let alone card room. So yeah, my goals are realistic, and my meek daily goals make it very clear that i can achieve what i want to by the time college is over.

Can i train myself to stop caring so much about 10 big bets? I spent 20 minutes picking the hairs i pulled out of my head out of my laptop keyboard. I basically have to change a huge part of my personality. We shall see...

So my dreams? I don't want to be a rock star. I don't want to be a studio musician. No, no, no... I want to play music whenever the hell i want with friends. I want to golf. I never want to put on a winter jacket again. And, o yeah, i want to play poker for a living. Much more realistic right?

I don't even walk through powder snow because i want to keep my pants dry. I'm king conservative. If chances of rain are 4:1 against, i wear a hat so my hair doesn't get wet, just in case.

If my hair is still brown in september, i think ill be on the right track.

This should be fun